Between Dreams and Reality
by FonominalHoneyBadger
Summary: Just a very short Snape and Lily oneshot from back in the Hogwarts days. May be completely inaccurate, but came into being while I procrastinated and didn't do my script for English class. Read and review, please and thanks!


"Just look at him, Lily. He's got the look of a Slytherin. The cold eyes, the hunched shoulders, the ugliness.. I'll bet even his parents want nothing to do with him."

Severus sat under a tree with his potions textbook cradled in his lap and his robes drawn around him, even in the warm weather. His hair fell like a veil around his face and covered his eyes. James, surrounded by his 'followers' and Lily, was standing a ways away. He gave the impression that he was simply going on, ranting, though Severus knew that James' voice was raised specifically loud enough for he and for all around to hear him.

"He'll become a Death Eater soon enough, I'd say. Though he hasn't got the nerve to choose it; he'll probably end up being forced into it by his friends, the cowardly git. Not like he has any, mind you." At this, James raised his voice. "Right, Severus? It's not like you've got any friends. And it's no wonder, from the looks of you. Poor, poor Sev, all alone, hated by everyone. Aren't you, Sevvy?" He called out, tauntingly. At this, Lily jumped to her feet, and Severus lifted his eyes and watched through the curtain of his dark hair.

"Stop that, James! You've no right to go on about how stupid, or ugly he is, when clearly he hasn't done anything to you except exist!"

"Defending him, Lily?" James was relaxed, his arm slowly falling down from where it had just been laying around Lily's shoulders, and his ankles crossed casually. He liked putting on a show to impress his friends, even if that meant offending his girlfriend. "Just because he told you about Hogwarts first doesn't mean you owe him anything. It's not as if no one would've shown up and told you about it eventually. And face it, Lily, you've moved onto bigger and better, and you've no use for a thing like him anymore, the slimy bugger."

"Bigger and better, James?" Lily shrieked as her voice rose in pitch and her face grew flushed. "Anyone who says that you and your group of… of_ friends_ are better than anyone else is _clearly_ kidding themselves!" She sputtered for a few more moments, trying to come up with a better comeback, but eventually just through her shoulders back and walked a few feet away, sitting on a bench nearby and pretending to be interested in the clouds drifting overhead.

James watched, unphased, and finally stood up, prompting his friends to join him. Sirius and Remus whispered between themselves, but Peter, who had remained silent throughout the exchange, murmured reassurances to James, and mentioning that maybe he should go and speak to Lily alone..? "Who needs her, anyway?" said James, loud enough for Lily to hear him. "Let's go see if those girls from Transfiguration still want to go into Hogsmeade with us next week."

Lily pretended to ignore them as James noisily led his 'group' back into the school, though a tear rolled down her cheek slowly, knowing she could be replaced in an instant, if James so chose.

Severus quietly closed his Potions textbook and put away his quill. He walked over noiselessly to the bench where Lily sat, wrapping her arms around herself and shaking with silent sobs. He sat down and Lily flinched, wiping her tears away and sitting up straighter before she realized that it was he.

"Thank you, Lily. I -" Severus started, hesitantly.

"Do you realize the things that people say about you, Sev? They think you're abnormal. And because you don't stand up for yourself, I have to, and this happens. Do you understand what I do for you, Severus? We're not even friends anymore. You have to be your own person and speak up when people put you down, so I don't have to. When I do, this happens, and James.. James.." Lily choked on a sob and looked down, her red hair falling around her face.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sure.." Severus cleared his throat, speaking through the lump that was caught there. "I'm sure James didn't mean it. He.. He'd be stupid if he did. And.. I'll protect myself. You don't have to speak up for me. I can manage on my own. But again.. thank you, Lily. Thank you." He couldn't put his thoughts into flowing, eloquent sentences the way James could, or have the right words for whatever situation. But he did understand that Lily was in love, and all Severus could do was reassure her and do whatever he could so that she'd be happy.

Lily looked up at him, tears clouding her beautiful green eyes, and the corner of her lips twitched up in a slight smile. "I really have missed you, Sev. I'm so sorry for everything they do, and all the times I haven't defended you."

Severus bit his lip and held back a sigh. "Go find him, Lily. Tell him you didn't mean it. It's fine."

She wiped her tears away quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging Severus. She released him just as he brought up his hands, shocked, to return the gesture, and she stood up. As she started to walk away, though, she stopped and went back to Severus, placing a swift kiss on his cheek. "You're such a great friend." She flashed him a dazzling smile before she hurried into the castle to go apologize to James.

Severus watched her hair swing from side to side and stared at her as she went, his heart in his stomach. His cheek was still burning from where her lips had touched it, and his hands were shaking. He heard a door slam in the distance turned to see where it was coming from.

Severus Snape, aged 34, bolted awake, alone in his bedroom once again. In the split second between dreams and reality, he thought he glimpsed a shock of bright red hair splayed across the pillow beside him, but as his eyes focused, the image disappeared. His chest was tight and sore, as if a thousand vines, or Lily's delicate fingers, had grasped hold of his heart and were squeezing the life out of him second by painful second. His hair was damp and stuck to his cheeks as he let out a moan of anger. Tears clouded his vision as his fingers grasped at nothing, and he brought his fist down on the pillow beside him in frustration, wishing things had been different.


End file.
